Because He first loved us....

It's true..."We love Him, because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19  Face it...we didn't want Him.  We wanted to serve the flesh and continue in our sin, all the while denying our need of God or that we were even sinning.  It was in His mercy that He came to us and opened our eyes and hearts, drawing us to His bleeding side and giving us eternal life, and that more abundantly.  We didn't want it, and we certainly didn't deserve it.  However, our Lord is patient and kind, full of mercy and grace.  God's word is clear...every one of us is born a sinner. 

I'm not writing anything new.  Any born again believer knows these things.  So why do we expect better of our children than what we were?  They are born in sin the same as we were.  Our children aren't born wanting to submit to us, to obey us, or more importantly...to obey God.  They, like we, are born selfish, rebellious, and disobedient.  As parents that have been redeemed, shouldn't we extend the same grace, mercy, and patience toward them that God so lovingly showed us?  Instead of lashing out with harsh words or angry outbursts, we must tenderly and lovingly correct them - pointing them to the One who can change their hearts.  We must never treat them cruelly or harshly because they aren't treating us the way we think they should.  That's not God's way...He is good to us, all the time - whether we are walking in obedience or stumbling along the path.  Correct them we must, but it must be done with love.

We are by no means perfect and will certainly fail.  I pray we will be quick to realize our failure and repent before the Lord, also asking our children to forgive us.  You've seen the look that crosses their precious faces when we've hurt them with our words or actions....looks of confusion and pain.  They love us and trust us...they look to us to protect them.  They are like tender little plants that need to be pruned...may we be careful not to trample them underfoot because we have failed to keep our eyes on Jesus, praying for His divine help and the patience and stamina that it takes to love them the way He loves them!

When the flood comes

Somewhere along the way, many Christians have gotten the idea that once they put their faith in Christ, life will go smoothly...things will be a piece of cake.  This couldn't be further from the truth.  There is refining that must take place, a molding....being broken and reformed into someone more like our Lord.  It's a process, and it's often a painful one.  I want to be sure that my children understand the way it really is to serve Him.  The last thing I want is for them to buy into the idea that life will always be smooth sailing and nothing will ever bring them to their knees so long as they confess Christ as their savior.  However, I must be sure that they understand...no matter what they are going through He is still faithful, He can be trusted, and He has not forsaken them!!

One of the ways we can do this as parents is to not coddle them to much.  Don't shield them from everything in your life that is difficult.  We must let them see that their are trials to walk through...even crawl through on our knees in total dependence upon Him.  Show them that you have faith in Him no matter what the situation is...show them that He is to be trusted no matter what.  When we keep our trials from our children we may very well send them the message that bad things never happen when you are walking with Yeshua....that things are always easy and everything goes our way.  I'm not saying we have to give them every detail of our struggles.  But, when the big trials come, the ones that are more like a flood and you have to sink or swim, have faith or give up...you need to let them see you walk by faith and not by sight with a daily reliance upon the only One who can keep your head above water.

Raising Godly children

Around here we have been in somewhat of a valley for quite some time.  There have been many, many trials.  Over the past week, the trials seemed to be unending, coming from every direction and usually at the same time : )  However, through it all, God has of course been faithful!  And I give Him all the glory.  With all that has been happening, when my husband found me having a tearful moment yesterday he of course thought I was worried about bills, or the girls' recent illness, or something along those lines.  However when he asked what was wrong, I said something that I never would have said years ago...before Christ picked me up out of the miry clay and washed me clean.  I told him I was far more worried about raising children who love and live for the Lord than I was about paying the electric bill or anything else.  You see, troubles come...it's part of life.  There is no sense worrying about our food, shelter, and clothing because His word says there is no need to.  I know that God will work all those things out as He sees fit.

Now, I know that the salvation of my children is in His hand as well so I'm not really worried about that.  What I was tearful about is the example I set for them....how I live out my life for Christ before them through the years.  I don't want to fail...I can't let that happen.  I must do whatever it takes to give them a Godly example to learn from...I must feed them scripture daily for every situation in life...I must remember to praise and thank the Lord when things are hard instead of complaining!  It's a tough job...no doubt about it.  But it's one that I'm ready to tackle with a fresh determination.  Things have been pretty chaotic around here and I've let things fall by the wayside.  It's time to pick myself up, crawl into the lap of Jesus, pour out my heart to Him daily...and then let Him use me as He sees fit.  Times a wastin' as they say....    Moms who are in the trenches day to day with many children, don't let it overwhelm you to the point that you let things slip away.  Feeding and tending His sheep needs to be the top priority of every day!  Take your burdens to the Lord, and He will work it out.  In the meantime, keep quoting scripture, keep nurturing, keep disciplining.  Do it all for His glory and His namesake.

Scented memories

After I bathed the baby tonight, I was getting her diapered and dressed when I sprinkled some baby powder on her and thought "Wow...I will never tire of this smell." Smell is a wonderful sense....it can bring back a flood of memories. There are scents from my childhood that I can almost smell if I concentrate hard enough.

So the baby powder got me thinking....a lot. One day many many years from now, when all of my children are grown and there are no more babies, I hope that I will be able to look back and remember the smell of baby powder instead of remembering all the messes. I don't want to look back and think about all the hard work raising a quiverfull requires, the stains on the carpet, the worn out furniture, the bickering between siblings, or the constant need to clean something. I want to be able to just close my eyes and bring that baby powder smell to my senses....and remember the splashing in the tub, the laughter of siblings playing, rosy cheeks and messy hair in the morning, snuggling up on the couch and reading a good book to the kids, watching the babies grow into young adults, and all the other blessings that a houseful brings.

I want to cherish these years and hold them dear. Unlike so many, I'm in no hurry for them to be over. Children are given to us by God to love and disciple....not rush out the door thankful that our job is done. May we find joy and keep our focus during this season of life. It will be over far to soon.

Teaching them to serve

There really is no place for laziness in the Christian life. We are to be busy, busy, busy for the Lord. People often tend to think that being busy for the Lord means being active in the Church but there is MUCH more to it than that! God designed the family so beautifully.....he places each of us into our individual families with a unique role for each family member.

The family is the ideal setting for learning to serve....by serving those who are nearest and dearest to us. But how do we go about helping our children learn to serve their families? Well for starters, we must serve them and do it CHEERFULLY. Mothers and fathers must set the example. We are wasting precious energy and time if we serve them with a bad attitude. We need to go about all of our business with a smile and delight in our soul.

Something else we need to make sure of is that we are doing enough serving and not just delegating the majority of the tasks to others. We are a family after all and everyone needs to do their part. (There are certain exceptions of course such as very small children or those who are sick, etc.) Children won't want to pitch in and "help" if they are the only ones doing anything. The saying "work before play" should apply to all family members who are old enough to contribute, including parents.

So moms, do you find yourself exhausted because you are doing all the serving? Perhaps you have children who are serving you and their younger siblings but they do it grudgingly. If so, why not try a fresh start? Take small steps at first. Of course we can't rush in commando style and start telling them they WILL do this and that and do it NOW. We may get results but not the best ones. Here are a few ideas to get things started:

1. Pick a quiet time to talk to them about how the Lord served when He was on this earth.
2. Show them from scripture what is said about serving and work.
3. Explain to them the importance of learning to serve others by deferring their own wishes and desires.
4. Give them examples of how they can serve other than just through chores....i.e. "When you see your little sister struggling to pour a drink offer to help without being asked."

Waiting on the fruit...

If you are like me, you like to see immediate results from all your hard work. It's something I'm trying to get over but it's slow going for sure : ) The never ending task of helping our children to learn God's word, to learn to love one another and get along, and to learn fractions for that matter can be exhausting work. Sometimes I find my self asking "when oh when will I see the fruit of my labor?" It seems that lately my patience has really been tried and I have had to work extra hard to smile and speak gently to my children. Believe me it can be really hard by lunch time to keep up the happy face!

When I feel the fleshy side of me start to creep in, the only thing I can do is take a deep breath and give it to the Lord...again and again. He's the only one who can mold me and change me. Do I always overcome the flesh and look immediately to Him? Of course not....and when I lose my patience I repent....again and again. It's an ongoing process that is sometimes painful and a lot of hard work. It can be so hard to set the example of Godliness for our children but they ARE watching. Kids don't miss a thing believe me.

So, what's a mom to do? Keep looking to the Lord, keep praying and repenting, and keep loving those little blessings He has given us. I know that I will need to be in almost constant prayer today as we are all sick and feeling cranky. Praise the Lord that He hears our prayers all the time....even the ones we have to hurriedly send His way.

Lessons learned in a large family

Large family life is the perfect setting in which to develop Godly character. How we act and how we treat other people is not only important to our testimony, it is important to the Lord. Teaching our children godly character can be very tricky. It means setting a good example for them day after day...modeling the sort of behavior we expect of them. In other words, we have to stay on our knees before the Lord asking him for the grace to keep our own character in check.

In a large family, there are SO many opportunities for each family member to learn SO many things.......patience, love, deference, loyalty, service, diligence, responsibility, peacemaking, orderliness, selflessness....the list goes on and on. It takes a lot of time and a lot of repetition to see the fruit but when our children are grown and teaching the same things to precious blessings of their own, the reward will be that much sweeter.

Now anyone who knows me personally certainly knows that our family by no means has it "all together". We have a looooonnnnngggg way to go in the character department : ) However, the Lord has led me to a place where there is no choice but to work much harder at developing Godly character in my children. I see things in my children that make me cringe and then fall at the feet of my savior and seek his direction....and ask for forgiveness. Why? Well, because I have failed to properly train my children in so many areas AND because so many of the things that make me cringe are things they got from watching me. It can be very painful to witness that's for sure.

You see, back when we only had two or even three children things were different. They were calmer, didn't argue that often, and things were pretty peaceful. However, over the years as the Lord has added more children to our family things got ahead of me and while they are basically well behaved, there are some areas where we could use some work. So character development is high on the list for our homeschool this year. It is coming second only to study of the Word.

Please don't misunderstand me. I know that some changes in character can only come through repentance and putting our faith in Christ....by having a total heart change. But we can help to develop good character but teaching them good habits, through lots of conversation, books, scripture, etc. And what better place to practice patience than in a large family? Oh the opportunities the Lord gives us each day!! His design for the family is so perfect....If only more Christians would realize what a blessing it is to surrender the womb to God.

Do you love your children?

REALLY love them? Or do you love them as long as they are well behaved and quiet....and possibly in another room so you don't have to deal with them? For moms who are keepers at home especially, loving our children means constant sacrifice, service, and dying to self. Of course my flesh would rather spend hours on end surfing the internet for the perfect homeschool curriculum (as if!) or maybe even cleaning the house spotless and having it stay that way for more than 30 seconds. Loving our children takes time and energy. It takes patience that can sometimes be hard to display.

If we teach our children good habits and obedience from the start, things will be easier of course. But even then there will be many, many moments in the day (especially with a houseful of blessings) where we will need to exhibit GRACE....and a lot of it. You know like when you are just about finished scrubbing the kitchen floor and one of them spills something, or lets the muddy dog in to run across it, or whatever.....and inside you want to scream because you have so much you are trying to get done while the littlest one sleeps? The child looks at you and knows there is a response coming...but what will your response be? Will you scold them and speak harshly? Or will you take a deep breath, tell them you know it was just an accident, and maybe suggest they help you clean it up? What would our Lord do? Certainly not start yelling at them and telling them what an inconvenience they have caused.

Lets face it....young children especially are sometimes loud, clumsy, and forgetful. They are also very tenderhearted and fragile. They have been placed in our care to nurture! Yes we will have to discipline them at times but just a stern look of disappointment can crush a child's spirit. They need to know that we love them no matter what the situation. The Lord has really convicted me in this area recently. We need to be oh so careful how we treat our blessings. We need to watch our words....think before we speak!

Remember this. Children have a unique way of keeping you from spending to much time on yourself...and wasting time that is better spent on something important. Instead of getting irritated about it, take a hard look at the way you are spending your time. It could be the Lord's way of letting you know you need to change a few things : )

Multi-generational faithfulness

My desire for multi-generational faithfulness has been weighing heavily on my mind of late. Just think about it....raising children who cling to the faith, who then raise their own children who cling to the faith, and then those children do the same, and so on and so on. I realize you can never count on ALL of your children, grandchildren, etc. following the Lord but if there were a strong commitment in every Christian home to make this a priority, what a difference we might see in the world!

So, how do we go about raising our children to continue in the faith? I can assure you it won't happen by living a halfhearted commitment to Christ. The Lord doesn't want lukewarm followers. Why would our precious ones want to share our faith if they don't see any excitement about it from us? Do they see you walking with the Lord daily and doing your best to serve Him with everything that you have? Do you take the time to teach them in the everyday moments of life about who He is and what He has done for us? Do they see you living like someone who is expecting the Lord to return at any moment? Have they seen you crying out to God in brokenness and repentance? Are you excited to get to church every week to seek shelter from the world and worship a Holy God?

Do you shower them with the grace your Savior has shown you....or are you always harsh and unforgiving? Do they see you clinging to the Lord and His word during the good times AND the bad? Are you living with one foot in the world and one in the church....walking with Him when it's convenient and doing what you please when it's not? Are you earnestly teaching them from the scriptures at an early age or do you assume they are to young to really understand, and put it off for another day?

We must do so much more if we want to pass our faith on to our children. My earnest prayer is that from this day forward I will pour myself out daily to live for Him and point my children to Him.....to follow the commands in Deuteronomy 6: 4-9:

⁴Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD:

⁵And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

⁶And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

⁷And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

⁸And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

⁹And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

Women were designed to bear children

Research suggests that women who have few or no children, and wait to have them until they are older, have a higher risk of developing breast cancer than those who start younger and have a larger number of children! Lack of breastfeeding and use of oral contraceptives (the pill) also play a role.

"All women are at risk for breast cancer, regardless of hereditary factors. In fact, no more than 10 percent of people with breast cancer have a genetic predisposition to the disease. Other known risk factors and personal characteristics include personal or family history of breast cancer, high breast tissue density, earlier onset of menstruation (12 years or younger), later menopause (55 years or older), late first-term pregnancy (30 years or older), no children or no breast-feeding, early or recent use of oral contraceptives, more than four years use of hormone replacement therapy, postmenopausal obesity, alcohol consumption, exposures to secondhand cigarette smoke and exposure to ionizing radiation."

http://www.breastcancerfund.org/site/apps/nl/content3.asp?c=kwKXLdPaE&b=70679&ct=90248

"As more countries modernize, more women will enter an increasingly sedentary workforce, delay childbearing, exert control over their reproductive lives, live longer, and eat a more Westernized diet. Their breast-cancer rates will no doubt increase. It is crucial that women's awareness of their risk and their expectations of their government and the medical community regarding detection and treatment increase at a similar rate."

http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/358/3/213

These same factors (aside from the pill) also increase the risk of ovarian cancer.

Just one more reason to give in and let the Lord control the womb. His ways are perfect and they don't need to be adjusted. It is our sinful and selfish hearts that need to be cleansed! As much as most women don't like it, we were designed to be keepers at home and raise kids....and I have the scripture to prove it : )

Where do babies come from?

Seriously....where do they come from? Most followers of the Lord would quickly answer that they come from God. That is absolutely true. So if it's true, why do most Christians use birth control? "Well, because God wants us to use wisdom." That's the answer I've heard over and over again. But if God is the giver of ALL life, why do we need to try and control the number of children we have? Does the Lord really need our help? Or is His wisdom really all we need to rely on?

The Bible shows over and over that He opens and closes the womb....that he is capable of making one fruitful or barren. To put it plainly....the womb belongs to God to use as he wishes. Maybe he will bless us with 20 children, maybe 1. The bottom line is that he is quite capable of giving or withholding conception. He doesn't need us to step in and use our so called "wisdom" in this area. The real blessing comes when we give our bodies to Him willingly, to be used for His glory.

Now I know it sounds ridiculous to most people in this present age to take the chance of having such a large family. But the more I read the scriptures and study some things, the more I see that large families are considered a blessing and something to be desired, not despised. Questions always arise from those who choose to use birth control...things such as "How will I provide for a large family?" or "How will I ever have the patience to handle so many children? The two I have now are more than I can deal with!". The simple answer to those questions is this - You can't but He is able.

The flesh is very selfish....having a large family to care for forces you to die to yourself and serve others. It is good for you! You may have to give up some of the things that most people have become accustomed to in their lives - extra cars, big houses (with empty rooms!), costly vacations, the latest fashions...or maybe cable TV. All of those are things the world chases after and those with a large family are often forced to give them up - it is the Lord pruning worldly desires out of your life. None of those things are needs, they are all things that the flesh wants.

One thing I know is this....the Lord is able to provide for the lives He sends to those who trust in Him. It may not be in the way you expected, but he will do it one way or another. You can't go wrong when choose to trust Him.

Speaking of grace....

For some reason I just can't seem to stop thinking about treating our children with grace. It's burning a hole in my soul : ) When I think of the way we can crush their spirits so quickly with just one harsh word it makes me want to cry out to God for help! Sometimes it can be so hard!

Sometimes a mom or dad may respond harshly or in anger because it's been a long, trying day with a houseful. Or maybe it's because they are all going crazy at once. Perhaps it may be something even deeper.....like the fact that they are behaving like children and some parents just can't stand the way children act. Most won't admit it of course but it's true! Adults need to remember that it was the Lord that created each individual child with their own quirks, strengths, and weaknesses! Some are quiet and some are not. Some have nothing to say and some never quit talking (I can testify to this because five of mine are girls!) Some are very active and some are couch potatoes. It's just the way He made them. Now I know that their is a difference between kids being kids and sinfulness....which of course needs to be dealt with (also with grace as the Lord deals with us). But when they are just being kids sometimes we need to just let it go.

Our children love us so much - something else the Lord put inside of them. They just want to have our attention and feel loved in return. Unfortunately we are sometimes tired and often selfish. We want peace and quiet - something that is hard to find in a houseful of blessings : ) How often do we send them off to another room to play because they are making us crazy only to be irritated with them later when we find they have made a mess? A lot of the things that irritate us could be avoided if we would simply keep them WITH us instead of scattered throughout the house. We would be there to listen to them, laugh with them, and immediately address sin/heart issues. Proverbs 29:15 says "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

It is my firm belief that we need to pour ourselves out serving, training, AND enjoying our children. After all, Jesus told us we must die to self and serve him. How much harder it will be for our children to grow up to serve Him and die to self without the help of a godly example!

Hmmm.....selfishness and not letting God control the size of your family. Another post may be brewing : )

Homeschooling: What does it look like?

No two homeschools will look the exactly the same. Each family has to do what works best for them. Some use textbooks, others unit studies, and still others use an "unschooling" approach. There are so many methods and even ways of combining methods that it can be overwhelming to those just starting out. We have only been homeschooling for just over three years and I have to tell ya that we've changed methods and curriculum more times than I care to admit. But ya know what? THAT'S OK! It's just the way it goes....and it's actually one of the benefits of homeschooling!

While each family has their own way of doing things and has to find their own groove so to speak, one thing I know is this - your homeschool shouldn't look like public or private school! For those of us who went to public/private school it can be very hard to adjust to this new way of doing things. If you are new to homeschooling or considering it for your family listen closely to this word of advice - don't try to duplicate the school experience you had. It is not - I repeat NOT - necessary to create a public school environment in your home in order for your children to get a proper education.
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I know first hand how hard it can be to think outside the public school box. After spending years in the system it becomes so ingrained in us! But homeschooling is so much more than just school - it is a way of life, it is spending time with your family, learning to manage a home, it is living, learning, and growing with those who love you the most. Most important to me is being there right alongside my children to apply the truth of scripture to every area of life.

As another "official" homeschooling year comes to an end (we still do some things over the summer), I'm already thinking about next year. One of my top priorities is to have learning become more of a way of life or would it be vice versa - have life become more of a way of learning?